I am amazed with myself... well okay just a little.
I realize I hate human relationships. YUP. It always just get more and more complicated, I find it a chore to think about this and that, sometimes having to figure out WHY the sudden indifference, hostility, friendliness (now I often perceive that as pretty much, fake) etc etc and WOW, now I think -
Just fuck dem all. I'm so used to having explanations for almost everything that when such shit happens, I go
whyyyyy what did I do, blahblahblahblahblah.
Times when I bother so much are when the involved parties actually matter. But Hey I'm tired. It's like guessing games or something? I don't want to play.
So... I guess I'm just gonna conclude. I'm not very well-liked. As much as I want to be loved, I guess uh-hahah, my personality sorta forbids that? I mean I'm not just being paranoid, but hey I keep havin people deserting me, in a way. I think most people get tired of me really easily :(
But for now... I feel like I should disappear. It's upsetting of course, feeling the way I do now. But I'm sure I'll be fine soon enough. I don't wish to care so much anymore... I'm retarded enough. Shall just go about doing my own thing, make the most out of my life maybe.
I'm not perfect... and I don't believe anyone is. But well I'll just have to deal with the fact that some people just don't like me because of the way I am. I can't make everyone love or like me.
It's okay then...
Anyway I like how I can be very honest and unafraid to hide
"
... if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
7:10 AM
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