It was frightening.
I nearly tried to kill myself again yesterday.
I've been really unstable lately. I can't lie anymore. I had wished I could deal with everything in a better way because it's been a year. I'm really disappointed with myself.
I got better, but I looked like shit. Wanted to stay home, but decided I should head out. Forget about the whole episode. Had to cover my eyes with blackeyeshadow to cover up the eye bags cus my eyes were so fuckin swollen.
Went out, met my friends, I was doing well.
Went to Blujaz with Kelie and friends, initially I said I didn't want to drink
but ended up sharin wine with Charlie and Marcus.
I also said I didn't want to head to Zouk with Keshia's friends,
but after that Charmaine told me she could get us all in free, and Min and her were like
"Go la go la go la! GO OKAY!" and I checked the time -
it was too darn early for me to head home. If I went home I'd just be emo and stuff.
So I decided to okay, head to Zouk and get high.
Unfortunately Keshia couldn't join us because she wasn't feelin very well :(
Charlie and Hazrul had to go off too, becus they have a showcase early this morning.
After some difficult in getting cabs we finally got to zouk and headed into members with Charmaine and her sister and omg her sister's friend just kept makin us drink so I seriously drank and drank and drank and drank and drank. There was a bit of drama between the girls after that because we were all so high, a misunderstanding of some sort. So I stuck with Min and she became my dancing partner at Phuture, while the rest kinda went missing. GAWD I HATE PHUTURE. The music was not too bad but I STILL HATE IT. But I was there for the company so that made it better. After Phuture closed we went BACK into zouk to drink again, and the misunderstanding was resolved and we got high again and went to the main arena, dancing dancing.
When I got home I was stil high, called KWXY and chatted with her and that made me reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllly happy. I was also on msn talking rubbish to my friend who's comin' back to singapore today.
Mission accomplished. I went to bed happy, not emo.
P.S:
>Thanks Maddie, thanks a mill really. Love you.
>Keshia I hope you're feelin better. Thanks for inviting me to Blujaz.
You and your friends saved my day!
>I hope all hell will not break loose starting today. The jackass is back.
1:18 PM
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