GAH! I have an immature zit below my lower lip, on the chin.
Hurts like fuck I must complain.
I just smeared my zit gel ALL over it.
Massive overdose but I gota let it dry out quick,
Saturday's a big day I don't want to look fugly!
So I guess I should sleep soon, say 23OAM.
Saturday's a big day cus my sis is well,
Her ROM's happening on that day.
I've invited a few peeps but only 2 girlfriends are goin.
I'm glad nevertheless (:
Thank you honeys.
It's gonna be quite an event - I'm goin to be the emcee,
speakin' in both English & Mandarin.
Putting my presentation/speaker skills to test aye?
Hope I don't screw things up! I doubt I will.
Usually people like it when I talk AHAHAHAHA.
I'm tryin to inject some confidence in myself please empathise.
I'll try to chill - I mean afterall it's a happy occasion
no point gettin' all nervy about it!
I pretty much love the outfit I'm gonna be wearing.
My favourite blue KAI dress but this time, pairin it up wit skinnies.
Daddy says I look chio, HAHA (:
(To get such a compliment from him is very rare, I swear.)
* * *I was bein really nosey, so I went to check somethin' out.
After that, I sorta had this assumption about somethin.
And that made me feel kinda uneasy.
I decided to further check things out with a reliable source so that I could get some answers. What I found out kinda puzzled me.
It didn't make me feel fab.
I didn't like what I found out,
because since it was said like things were supposed to be one way,
why did it turn out to be in an area of grey?
What the fuck is goin on? For a moment, my mind was thrown into space.
From the day I decided to reconcile feelings,
I'd also decided that I wouldn't care what we are and will be.
Cuz I don't think you know what you want either.
Or maybe you do, and you want it just to be like how it is now.
I have no objections, I shall have no further expectations.
I will only care about you.
It's in your hands- what you want to do.
Let it be a game if you want it to be.
I'm just gonna do my own part.
* * *It keeps happening- friends and lettin' down.
I ask myself "Perhaps I deserve this."
Perhaps what my friends do to me signify my worth to them as friends.
It thus shows, that I have overrated alot of my friendships.
One thing I can't stand is not being appreciated.
I know it's not right to want an equal amount of love from people that I give love to, there can be no equal amount. But can I at least feel some love?
it shld be give n take yes?
I'm really quite disappointed with a few people.
"IF YOU GET SHIT FROM ME IT MEANS YOU DESERVE IT"
If you don't bother about me, I won't give a fuck about you either.
Love is supposed to be unconditional, I know.
But there is a limit to how much shit I can take.
Why should I allow people to make me feel like shit?
If you have walked too fast and left me behind, I might try once or twice to catch up with you.
But there is no way I'm gonna follow you like a dog.
* * *Enough about shit friends.
I have a few gd friends who are quite down in the dumps.
One lost 2 loved ones within a month,
another's goin thru a fucked up family financial crisis.
I'm praying for dem and any of my other friends who might be havin' a tough time.
I love you guys, please take care.
Remember to just buzz me anytime y'all need me okay.
I might not be able to do much but I can let y'all vent the frustration on me.
All right, I'm 17 mins past bed time.
So I'ma hit the sack right now.
Love you guys to bits.
Take care all
1:57 AM
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