i really can't take it anymore.
who can tolerate being broke?
i mean, i'm deprived of shopping, (
and that means always wearin the same things)
deprived of self-pampering.
but thats not all.
no money, so i can't hang out as much with friends to have fun.
and because my phone bills are unpaid (
thanks to my dad who promised)
i wasn't even able to call Julian on his birthday to wish him HAPPYBIRTHDAY.
i am also unable to return Weina who wants/needs her money back now in a jiffy as well.
i can't expect people to accomodate to me all the time i know.
and my guinea pig's cage bedding hasn't been changed for 2 weeks.
his nails are uncut and overgrown.
his food is running out.
my dad just keeps delaying everything.
even if there's no delay, it just isn't enough.
it just isn't.
and i realised its unbearable when ppl start to tell me about the things they've bought for themselves. i'm not eviljealousgreenwithenvy or whatever. i just feel pathetic when i subconsciously compare my situation to theirs. and i start to feel fuckin lousy.
i can't depend on anyone else but myself anymore.
not in terms of feelings, not in terms of anything.
but i don't want to blame my dad fully about my broke status
because after all hes payin for my studies.
and i've let him down too.
i'll work things out.
1:31 AM
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