you might not know it,
but as i feel
your companionship and the comfort it brings,
there is a sense of heartful gratitude that overcomes me.
so much so that when i talk to
you, i want to just break down and cry.
i just feel so fortunate to have someone to talk to,
let me ramble on and on about my feelings.
total self reliance is impossible, i get your point now Karen.
the
yous refer to all the friends ive seen this week -
Maddie, LeeHua, Roanna, Jiehua, Qiyuan, KAREN.maybe it was just a case of catch up or coincidence to some of you,
but for me, it was relief, consolation, comfort, and so much more.
i can't thank my besties enough.
thank you Maddie, thank you Karen for being so supportive.
i know you darlings know im struggling with my emotions deep down,
even though i still smile and laugh a little,
i have still been very broken.
i also thank everyone else who has shown their concern in any way.
if i did not reply you on MSN it was because i was afk.
i caught
THE BREAK-UP with
Josh (=Jiehua) and
Qiyuan today.
some parts of the show just got me tearing.
the movie has a few meaningful messages
and some really heartbreaking moments.
i think its a good show.
watch it with your boyfriend if you have one though.
its very important that boyfriends watch this show.
what i learnt:
its very important to say or show your care or concern,
because one less word said changes EVERYTHING.if it wont hurt you or another, be straightforward about everything.
pride, is really, nothing but stupidity.
hiding and being indirect only creates more issues.thank you Qiyuan for dinner and the ride home,
and thank you Josh for dessert.
i came home in a Tuscani tonight, my first time anyway.
i have some cool pictures taken too.
i will upload them soon.i feel like a selfish bitch,
trying to escape from the wake.
because i have been having shit happening to me,
i just want to hang out with friends and try and be happy,
i feel like i'd just die if i didnt try and relax.
i hope no one thinks that im finding excuses not to help out at the wake.
i really dread the crematorial -
i wish Tommy's around.
im not resentful towards you honey,
its not your fault that you're not around really.
i just can't stand our fate.
i can't take it man.maybe we're just not meant to be.
the crematorial's a couple of hours away
but im breaking down already.
fuck i don't know what to do.
Added:
* i didnt like the car initially but now i like it.
the only thg that i dont like about it is the rear.
* josh's big face
* qiyuan's driving
* multiples of josh.
cool picture i like.
and
yes i did have a relaxing time.
thanks y'all.
2:22 AM
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