this is one of those nights - i feel jaded
i just wish he was around to hold me.
So that i can kiss him,
which takes away all morbid thoughts and feelings.

i read his blog and im reminded that hes been in love with so many.
for some reason i dont know y i get jealous.
but why shld i be jealous? i really dont know.
maybe its the influence of shows -
whereby the female lead has love and admiration from a guy that has only loved her
wouldn't it be wonderful to end up with a guy whos only loved you
and who will only love you for the rest of his life

im being a stupid romantic now.

ive been infatuated with many.
but true love has only been 3.
i wonder how many true loves hes got/had?
how many true loves have YOU got/had?
how would true love be defined?

true love for me is an overwhelming feeling of wanting to protect.
actually i cn't really define it i dont know how to.

my feelings for the ones i had truly loved have changed.
will the feelings for him change too?
i want to say no, but can i be that confident?
change is only constant.

i remember being really upset one day when i was stil with the ex.
in our early honeymoon days we were sitting by the pool.
a moment there was with me staring into his eyes, and i teared.
i cried because i knew that one day i would lose him.
maybe it was because i knew that there would be no happy outcome between us
due to incompatability?

i faced so much disapproval when i was with the ex.
but i fought. i was determined to prove others wrong that we could work things out, despite all the differences.
adjustments can be made.
but it takes 2 hands to clap, and my hand was only slapping, not clapping.

things have been speedy between me and tom
when i look into his eyes i think to myself; no i'd never want to lose such a beautiful thing.
but i remind myself beautiful things tend to be snatched away,
or the more you try to keep/protect something
the more it gets away from you.
that is a natural force.

i have been in love,
now i want to try and stay in love.

true love is when you are able to love that imperfect someone perfectly.
i still remember that.


sorry my mind is messed up i was just typing whtever tht cme to mind