Clarificationi need to make this clear.
after the feedback ive gotten from quite a no. of ppl,
i just can't stand it anymore.
it just bothers me i just have to say it here.
i will feel better after saying.
i couldn't be bothered by what others thought
about my current relationship.
i felt that as long as i know whats going on,
its okay.
you can say what you want to say,
think what you want to think,
and believe me or not believe me.
NO. Tommy is
NOT a substitute.
NO. I am
NOT stil hanging out with J.C
because I still long for his affection.
i mean if thats really the case, I'd have gone back to him
when he was begging me to, right?
J.C has admitted that he was crazy and didnt know why he behaved that way,
as in tryin to get me to go back to him indirectly. The first few times I went out with him after I got attached to Tommy, he was really touchy. He did it on purpose, even saying "WHY NOT?!" That was just overboard. Anw hes forgiven.
maybe most of you can't be bothered but i just want to share.
on the day i broke up with joel,
(i suggested it, because he couldn't even be bothered anymore, you know?)
my feelings for him were already almost non-existent.
i still cared for him, but i really wasn't in love with him anymore.
in fact, the in-love feeling vanished LONG AGO.
i can't even remember when. but i think i suffered in his hands for one whole year.
i only held on to the relationship because i loved him.
but loving and being in love is different.if you dont get what i mean: you can love in alot of ways (friendship, sisterly etc)
but you can only be in love in one way.
i had suggested the break up because i sensed
my longing of affection from Tommy.
i saw no point in stayin together with J.C since
i was in love with another.
initially i felt like maybe it was just a crush or infatuation,
and i even asked J.C if he really wanted to break up with me.
i said if he was willing to make our relationship work,
we could still carry on and i'd try to forget about Tommy.
BUT J.C was the one who said that he wasn't sure about anything.
I CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S NOT SURE WHETHER HE LOVES ME OR NOT, right?
so whats the point in staying with him?
he stayed around because i made it so convenient.
So..
YES, i kinda left J.C for Tommy.
but then, im not really a bitch because its not like he minded right?
i even asked if he wanted to try to make things work.
at least i really did try my best in tryin to salvage the relationship.
so really,
I AM OVER HIM totally now.
in fact im quite disgusted at J.C really.
especially after your begging, mister. MAD
like i can't even believe that i could tolerate his crap for so long.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeyucks.
but then, i still love you as a friend.
i mean i stil care. like i wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.
i still want you to be happy and healthy ALIVE AND KICKING.
and Alextan, if you ever read this:
im not like your girlfriend.
i know she went back to you after breaking up with you for 3 months.
and i know she got together with another guy before goin back to you.
maybe she was trying to spite you.
but for me its different because
there is no way i will go back to being J.C's girlfriendmy mind was made up on the day of the breakup.
why i got together with Tommy so quickly?
can't get enough of him.initially i thought we should just date
but i realised i couldn't stand the thought of him
dating another girl.
i now love Tommy and im only in-love with Tommy and no one elseyes i rambled but this is my blog.
i feel so much better now.
1:20 AM
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